Disciplining Children -Finding the Right Balance

By Maggie Richardson


Yes, parenting can be quite difficult when we are young, first time parents and do not quite know what we are doing. As hard as it may seem at times, try to remember that when you're older, you'll almost certainly look back fondly on these days. What's tragic is when real damage to the relationship between parents and children occurs.

Let's face it. Parenting isn't easy.

There are no simple solutions that apply across the board when it comes to raising our children. As long as your children know that you really care about them, you can effectively discipline them when necessary without damaging consequences. There are so many terrific benefits for both of you when a solid rapport is there which implies a real connection. For discipline to be effective, there has to be this solid connection between you and your children. This type of trust is necessary so that the child has no doubt that any disciplinary action is based on knowing what's best for him or her.

Children of toddler age are full of emotion, and of course they experience common feelings such as embarrassment and even humiliation. Very often, young children will behave inappropriately in public places; in such cases, you should respond right away. Don't try to disregard it out of embarrassment or wait till hours later, when the children will have forgotten all about it. However, never engage in this corrective action in front of other people.

You can cause yourself immense difficulties when you establish rules and issue consequences for not following them only to break your own rules. In other words, there has to be consistency between what you tell your kids about consequences and what you actually do when they break the rules. If your children learn that they can get out of any punishment by whining or pleading, your disciplinary efforts will come to nothing. It can be very hard to turn things around once your children know that the limits you set are not really firm. Just as they'll figure it out if your rules can be safely ignored, if you remain firm and don't waver, this lesson will sink in as well. They may not like it, but you will be teaching them a very positive lesson regarding rules and consequences.

Children do better when they have some structure that they're aware of. By doing so you can make it known to children what is and is not allowed. When you do this, and are consistent with maintaining that structure, then that can actually lead to a much more positive place where there is significantly less stress in the air.




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