Caring For a Dementia or Alzheimer's Family Member

By Janine Sanderstine


It's never easy to care for aging relatives suffering from dementia or Alzheimer's disease. Sometimes, no matter what you do to help, it seems to be wrong. Alzheimer's patients may attack you verbally or physically.

Caregivers often receive no appreciation for the efforts they make to care for family members. It's no wonder they occasionally feel discouraged and wonder why they're not valued. Worse than that, they may even feel that they are placing themselves in harm's way.In some cases, the caregivers may even feel that they are placing themselves in harm's way.

It is estimated that more than 4 million Americans suffer from dementia and Alzheimer's disease. Ninety percent of them are over the age of sixty five. There is currently no cure, even though there has been a great deal of research. Medications are available and may slow the progression of the disease.

It is often the dementia or Alzheimer's that causes the elderly person to behave in a manner quite different than how they behaved before they became ill. There are a few things that can account for this.
The disease causes the afflicted person to be frightened. The difficulties that they experience with everyday tasks are something that they don't understand. They have difficulty communicating and are unable to express themselves clearly. Everything they touch seems to go wrong. Although they may hear well, they are unable to understand a good deal of what they hear. Most Alzheimer's patients lose the ability to read and perform simple mathematical functions. It's no wonder that they become frightened.

Elderly patients who suffer from physical conditions or memory loss are very often focused on themselves alone. They often become selfish and self-serving, no matter how generous or selfless they were in their younger years. Although you might consider this to be very wrong, try to remember that it is also a sign that the person is struggling to survive.

There are two ways that dementia and Alzheimer's patients will respond when they become frightened. They will either get very quiet and become distant, or they will become aggressive and lash out. There is no better target for their anger than the caregiver who loves them if they choose to lash out.

So what is a caregiver to do when they feel like they have been attacked? What if the person seems to be losing control? Here are a couple of things you can do:Don't take anything personally. Remind yourself that you are dealing with someone who is not well. Remain calm, so that you will be able to handle the situation properly. Thinking more clearly is easier if you remain calm. In addition, remaining calm will prevent the situation from escalating. Don't try to "win" the battle. Instead, diffuse the situation by distracting the person. Many times the problem will not exist five minutes later.Gently moving the person away from the situation that has upset them is sometimes the best answer.

Always remember, it's not them, it's the disease. Frustration, confusion, anger and outbursts are a result of the dementia or Alzheimer's. Maintaining perspective will help you to stay in control and cope with the situation.

If you feel
There are two ways that dementia and Alzheimer's patients will respond when they become frightened. They will either get very quiet and become distant, or they will become aggressive and lash out. There is no better target for their anger than the caregiver who loves them if they choose to lash out.

So what is a caregiver to do when they feel like they have been attacked? What if the person seems to be losing control? Here are a couple of things you can do:Don't take anything personally. Remind yourself that you are dealing with someone who is not well. Remain calm, so that you will be able to handle the situation properly. Thinking more clearly is easier if you remain calm. In addition, remaining calm will prevent the situation from escalating. Don't try to "win" the battle. Instead, diffuse the situation by distracting the person. Many times the problem will not exist five minutes later.Gently moving the person away from the situation that has upset them is sometimes the best answer.

Always remember, it's not them, it's the disease. Frustration, confusion, anger and outbursts are a result of the dementia or Alzheimer's. Maintaining perspective will help you to stay in control and cope with the situation.

If you feel that you are in danger, call for help. Perhaps a family member or a friend can offer assistance. If necessary, call 911. Intervening in life-threatening situations is what they do, and they may be the best people to provide help.




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