Just How To Build And Sustain A Positive Relationship With Your Step Children

By Charles Chisato Xavier


It's no longer unusual to find yourself having to raise step children. People now find themselves doing things that are unordinary, at least when in comparison to the past. Though some folks may find parenting step children very natural, most others fall to the wayside. To help you out, here are a few tips on how to interact in a more positive manner with your step kids. To accomplish a positive result, you will have to apply these tips while spending quality time with these children.

Make it clear to your new step children that you're not trying to take the place of their biological mother or father. This is crucial, particularly when your stepchildren are of an age where they understand the implications of your new marriage. At the beginning of your new family life with your stepchildren, remember that they will resist you more if you assume the role of parent to early in the relationship. Of course, it's important that you and your stepchildren are friends; however, they must learn to respect your position as the new spouse and understand that you will support him or her in any decisions regarding the discipline of the kids. Juggling the diametrically opposed roles of friend and authority figure can be a little complex and will probably not happen all at once.
If your spouse has teenage kids, this is going to be a little more tricky than it would be if they were younger in age. All you can expect in a household with stepchildren in their teenage years is to be ignored and treated like most parents are at this stage. Although you should be accepting of the situation, you must also have some amount of power to delegate responsibilities and punishments accordingly. Remember, teachers and other people in these children's lives also have authority over them just as you should at-home. As a step parent, you should try to be supportive of teens as a friend, but also be ready to be firm when it's necessary to enforce limits. Don't, however, expect them to see you as a new parent, as this isn't likely to happen with older kids.

There are not a lot of subjects that are more delicate for you as the stepparent than what part the original parent, if any, will play in the lives of your stepchildren. Don't think that just because the bio parent has died that they don't play a part in the life of your stepchild. That couldn't be further from the truth. This situation can become even more complicated if your new spouse is divorced from the biological mother or father of your stepchildren and sometimes feels conflicted. It's not your place to state an opinion about a natural parent who mistreated the kids. You should stay neutral on the subject or even be a little positive if you must say something. It's better for the kids to remember their life with their biological parent in a positive light and you must allow them to retain their own version of what that life was like.

Most people would agree that the biological parent needs to be the one in charge of the kids early on in the relationship. This is not to say that the step parent has no rights and must remain silent regarding all child related issues. It's best to have these discussions privately, so you can then show a united front when you interact with the children. Taking on the role of stepparent is never easy but, hopefully, these suggestions will make your path a little bit smoother. Since every family is a little different, you shouldn't approach the situation with any expectations. Just remem
There are not a lot of subjects that are more delicate for you as the stepparent than what part the original parent, if any, will play in the lives of your stepchildren. Don't think that just because the bio parent has died that they don't play a part in the life of your stepchild. That couldn't be further from the truth. This situation can become even more complicated if your new spouse is divorced from the biological mother or father of your stepchildren and sometimes feels conflicted. It's not your place to state an opinion about a natural parent who mistreated the kids. You should stay neutral on the subject or even be a little positive if you must say something. It's better for the kids to remember their life with their biological parent in a positive light and you must allow them to retain their own version of what that life was like.

Most people would agree that the biological parent needs to be the one in charge of the kids early on in the relationship. This is not to say that the step parent has no rights and must remain silent regarding all child related issues. It's best to have these discussions privately, so you can then show a united front when you interact with the children. Taking on the role of stepparent is never easy but, hopefully, these suggestions will make your path a little bit smoother. Since every family is a little different, you shouldn't approach the situation with any expectations. Just remember to be as available and supportive to your stepchildren as possible and, more importantly, don't make them feel pressured or obligated to accept you. All you can do until they are ready to bond with you is the best you can, each and every day.

One thing that's essential in any family is a healthy financial perspective. Having solid financial circumstances, it's much easier to pay attention to the kids. One way to do that would be to have a bank checking account, since it allows you to keep much better track of your finances. Check with your local financial institution to learn more.




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