There are few things more difficult than watching the people who have guided you throughout your life start to lose their independence. Thanks to the gradual increasing of the life expectancy, however, this is a more common experience than ever before.
Baby boomers would do well to sit down with their parents well in advance of major decision-making events, but that isn't always an option. If a need arises before you and your parents have made a plan, there are some general guidelines for you to follow that should help make things easier on them when it comes to the following:
1. When to stop driving. Americans are very attached to their cars and what driving means in terms of independence. As such, in most cases older adults are reluctant to face the harsh reality that they are putting themselves and others in danger every time they get behind the wheel. If you suspect it's time to introduce the subject to one or both of your parents, start by getting a doctor's evaluation. That way, you won't be perceived as the bearer of bad news, it will be a simple matter of what test results indicate. Be ready with transportation alternatives to offset their anxiety about getting around in the future.
2. Sell their house. Your parents are likely the generation in which 'The American Dream' came to fruition and home ownership became more commonplace for the middle class. So you can imagine how reluctant they might be when it comes time to realize that they can't physically keep up with the demands of protecting their investment from depreciation. Whether they would do better in a condo or need to move to an assisted living facility, it's often a very hard sell. In either case, setting up some kind of trial run would go a long way toward calming their nerves. If they could only experience for themselves what it would be like to live somewhere else for a week or two, it would be easier for them to let go of the home ownership burden.
3. Let someone else handle financial matters. As long as trust is intact, the biggest hurdle is convincing your parents that they will be informed of all significant transactions. They will feel vulnerable to the way that technology is now involved in financial endeavors, so be ready to offer brief explanations of how things are done in today's busy world of commerce. You should realize that many senior citizens spend a good deal of their time scouring the newspaper and television news, so acknowledge economic headlines as a way of assuring them that you are on top of the situation on their behalf.
In all cases, make sure that your discussions are from your parent's point of view rather than your own. It doesn't take a college degree in psychology to realize that the best strategy is to ask yourself how you will feel down the road when you are no longer able to live independently. If you keep in mind that your mom or dad is an adult and has earned the right be an active participate in the process, you might find this to be a great opportunity to get even closer emotionally.
Baby boomers would do well to sit down with their parents well in advance of major decision-making events, but that isn't always an option. If a need arises before you and your parents have made a plan, there are some general guidelines for you to follow that should help make things easier on them when it comes to the following:
1. When to stop driving. Americans are very attached to their cars and what driving means in terms of independence. As such, in most cases older adults are reluctant to face the harsh reality that they are putting themselves and others in danger every time they get behind the wheel. If you suspect it's time to introduce the subject to one or both of your parents, start by getting a doctor's evaluation. That way, you won't be perceived as the bearer of bad news, it will be a simple matter of what test results indicate. Be ready with transportation alternatives to offset their anxiety about getting around in the future.
2. Sell their house. Your parents are likely the generation in which 'The American Dream' came to fruition and home ownership became more commonplace for the middle class. So you can imagine how reluctant they might be when it comes time to realize that they can't physically keep up with the demands of protecting their investment from depreciation. Whether they would do better in a condo or need to move to an assisted living facility, it's often a very hard sell. In either case, setting up some kind of trial run would go a long way toward calming their nerves. If they could only experience for themselves what it would be like to live somewhere else for a week or two, it would be easier for them to let go of the home ownership burden.
3. Let someone else handle financial matters. As long as trust is intact, the biggest hurdle is convincing your parents that they will be informed of all significant transactions. They will feel vulnerable to the way that technology is now involved in financial endeavors, so be ready to offer brief explanations of how things are done in today's busy world of commerce. You should realize that many senior citizens spend a good deal of their time scouring the newspaper and television news, so acknowledge economic headlines as a way of assuring them that you are on top of the situation on their behalf.
In all cases, make sure that your discussions are from your parent's point of view rather than your own. It doesn't take a college degree in psychology to realize that the best strategy is to ask yourself how you will feel down the road when you are no longer able to live independently. If you keep in mind that your mom or dad is an adult and has earned the right be an active participate in the process, you might find this to be a great opportunity to get even closer emotionally.
About the Author:
Jean Cowerd is a social worker who writes for an organization which develops websites on online degree programs and online degrees for working adults.