There are those parents who worry over having strict rules as a cause for their kids to feel distant with them. But this simply isn't the case. They might get upset and complain at first, but they do know that you're only doing this because you care. These parameters you set forth and enforce make your child feel loved, safe, and secure.
It's never easy developing and introducing rules. Some parents don't have rules because they don't want any confrontation or unpleasantness in their home. But the uncomfortable stuff isn't necessarily a reflection on your relationship with your child, it's just the nature of adolescence - breaking rules and pushing limits is a part of growing up. Parents often wan to be their kids' friend, but this can't be so when they set rules. The top priority is to protect, nurture and provide for your kids.
Parents often give disproportionate punishments when kids break rules, and this only undermines the effectiveness of setting rules. Instead, when you first tell your child about a new rule, discuss the consequences of breaking that rule - what the punishment will be and how it will be carried out. Consequences must go hand in hand with limits so that your child knows what the cost of breaking the rules will be. You should give punishments that are fair and related to the violation. For example, if your son violated your no smoking rule, and with some friends, then you can punish him by restricting his social activities for a few weeks.
Punishments should only involve penalties you discussed before the rule was broken. You should never give empty threats. Of course, you might get angry when your child violates your rules, and your emotions can be a source of motivation for your child. It's best if parents cool off before saying anything since an angry individual is more likely to say things that he will later regret.
Make the ground rules crystal clear to your child. You should always be consistent when giving rules and punishment.
It's never easy developing and introducing rules. Some parents don't have rules because they don't want any confrontation or unpleasantness in their home. But the uncomfortable stuff isn't necessarily a reflection on your relationship with your child, it's just the nature of adolescence - breaking rules and pushing limits is a part of growing up. Parents often wan to be their kids' friend, but this can't be so when they set rules. The top priority is to protect, nurture and provide for your kids.
Parents often give disproportionate punishments when kids break rules, and this only undermines the effectiveness of setting rules. Instead, when you first tell your child about a new rule, discuss the consequences of breaking that rule - what the punishment will be and how it will be carried out. Consequences must go hand in hand with limits so that your child knows what the cost of breaking the rules will be. You should give punishments that are fair and related to the violation. For example, if your son violated your no smoking rule, and with some friends, then you can punish him by restricting his social activities for a few weeks.
Punishments should only involve penalties you discussed before the rule was broken. You should never give empty threats. Of course, you might get angry when your child violates your rules, and your emotions can be a source of motivation for your child. It's best if parents cool off before saying anything since an angry individual is more likely to say things that he will later regret.
Make the ground rules crystal clear to your child. You should always be consistent when giving rules and punishment.
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