How involved is too involved? Do you helicopter parent your children? You think you're being a good parent but you may have crossed the line from being interested to becoming a helicopter parent...being too involved in all aspects of your child's routine.
Being a helicopter (one who hovers) or a lawnmower (one who mows down all obstacles) to being a Blackhawk (crossing ethical lines) parent are new terms but appear to be showing up in the lives of more children in recent years. It's as if the parents (maybe you?) are living vicariously through the achievements and actions of their child.
Being a helicopter (one who hovers) or a lawnmower (one who mows down all obstacles) to being a Blackhawk (crossing ethical lines) parent are new terms but appear to be showing up in the lives of more children in recent years. It's as if the parents (maybe you?) are living vicariously through the achievements and actions of their child.
Smoothing the path and not seeing your child struggle is a natural thought process. And yes, as a parent, you need to be involved and interested in what your child does, but you need to know when you've gone from being involved to becoming a helicopter parent. Here are some clues to helicopter parenting styles:
Do you try to mitigate risks and obstacles for your child? Do you want to make certain everything is smooth and that your child will easily sail into and out of every situation? Remember, facing adversity builds character. Let your child struggle, and even fail.
Your child has a cell phone and because of that do you demand a phone call every day? Do you call him or her to make certain your child is up for classes? Does he have to check in before undertaking an activity and then report the outcome following it? Let your child learn by making decisions and gaining independence.
Your child didn't pass a test or didn't score as well on a paper as you imagined they should have. Do you call the professor and demand an explanation? Do you think it's the professor's fault for not offering your child a good grade? Your child's grades should be based on the quality of his or her own work, not your interference in the grading process.
Wanting your child to succeed is natural and wanting to kn
Do you try to mitigate risks and obstacles for your child? Do you want to make certain everything is smooth and that your child will easily sail into and out of every situation? Remember, facing adversity builds character. Let your child struggle, and even fail.
Your child has a cell phone and because of that do you demand a phone call every day? Do you call him or her to make certain your child is up for classes? Does he have to check in before undertaking an activity and then report the outcome following it? Let your child learn by making decisions and gaining independence.
Your child didn't pass a test or didn't score as well on a paper as you imagined they should have. Do you call the professor and demand an explanation? Do you think it's the professor's fault for not offering your child a good grade? Your child's grades should be based on the quality of his or her own work, not your interference in the grading process.
Wanting your child to succeed is natural and wanting to kn
Your child has a cell phone and because of that do you demand a phone call every day? Do you call him or her to make certain your child is up for classes? Does he have to check in before undertaking an activity and then report the outcome following it? Let your child learn by making decisions and gaining independence.
Your child didn't pass a test or didn't score as well on a paper as you imagined they should have. Do you call the professor and demand an explanation? Do you think it's the professor's fault for not offering your child a good grade? Your child's grades should be based on the quality of his or her own work, not your interference in the grading process.
Wanting your child to succeed is natural and wanting to know their friends and wanting to be involved in their day to day life, is not a bad thing. As parents, you should be involved. You just need to know when you're crossing the line and when to let your child pass or fail on his or her own merits. The sooner you become aware, the sooner your child will mature.
About the Author:
Your child didn't pass a test or didn't score as well on a paper as you imagined they should have. Do you call the professor and demand an explanation? Do you think it's the professor's fault for not offering your child a good grade? Your child's grades should be based on the quality of his or her own work, not your interference in the grading process.
Wanting your child to succeed is natural and wanting to know their friends and wanting to be involved in their day to day life, is not a bad thing. As parents, you should be involved. You just need to know when you're crossing the line and when to let your child pass or fail on his or her own merits. The sooner you become aware, the sooner your child will mature.
About the Author:
Myra Lee is a middle school teacher. Like other teachers and administrators in her school, she earned an online degree and strongly believes in online education for working professionals.