Kids will be kids and that means living with the fact that kids will not readily accept reality even if it is best for them at the end of the day. Let's be realistic - children, like adults, weren't born yesterday, and realize early on that they have feelings they have to express! And because of this, a child can tend to think independently, do things the way they insist them to be done, or refuse to listen to what you say.
Here's a scenario: your child is sitting happily playing with building bricks, or maybe playing on a games console, totally engulfed in his or her own world, and it's time for dinner. You ask your child to drop what they're doing there and then, to tidy up quickly, to leave their 'happy place' and come eat. Then your son's like, "why are you asking me to call a time out when my Lakers are up by 30-some points? You're mean!"
Then you react by thinking your son is being hard-headed and difficult. You remove the toys/games abruptly and the volcano erupts! Your special little boy of a Dr. Jekyll has become Mr. Hyde and is throwing a tantrum!
The next time it happened, I was wiser - he was at it again, playing his favorite video games and totally "in the zone", so to say. You give the child fair warning that playtime will be ending soon, in say 5-10 minutes, and that they will then need to put their things away so that they can help you make dinner.
Stick to your time-frame and get the things put away (help if you're needed), and involve your child in the dinner-making. You may have children of different ages, but they can help in different capacities instead of simply idling away at playtime and not doing anything before they get their grub. (Ok, so we may not have huge set meals every day, but you get the idea).
Wonderful! You have just helped your child side-step a major, major outburst! Your child is involved and happy, you are happy and non-stressed! Good Job!
The above example applies for many other everyday settings at home. Turn it around from something negative i.e. removing child from 'happy place' and replacing in 'upset place', to moving child from one happy place to another. Just make sure your child is prepared for the inevitable - that soon they would have to be doing something else rather than what they would rather do.
And once they have helped you out, let them know that he or she did a great job in lending a helping hand. Your children can therefore avoid tantrums while you avoid the dread feeling that comes with trying to control them.
Here's a scenario: your child is sitting happily playing with building bricks, or maybe playing on a games console, totally engulfed in his or her own world, and it's time for dinner. You ask your child to drop what they're doing there and then, to tidy up quickly, to leave their 'happy place' and come eat. Then your son's like, "why are you asking me to call a time out when my Lakers are up by 30-some points? You're mean!"
Then you react by thinking your son is being hard-headed and difficult. You remove the toys/games abruptly and the volcano erupts! Your special little boy of a Dr. Jekyll has become Mr. Hyde and is throwing a tantrum!
The next time it happened, I was wiser - he was at it again, playing his favorite video games and totally "in the zone", so to say. You give the child fair warning that playtime will be ending soon, in say 5-10 minutes, and that they will then need to put their things away so that they can help you make dinner.
Stick to your time-frame and get the things put away (help if you're needed), and involve your child in the dinner-making. You may have children of different ages, but they can help in different capacities instead of simply idling away at playtime and not doing anything before they get their grub. (Ok, so we may not have huge set meals every day, but you get the idea).
Wonderful! You have just helped your child side-step a major, major outburst! Your child is involved and happy, you are happy and non-stressed! Good Job!
The above example applies for many other everyday settings at home. Turn it around from something negative i.e. removing child from 'happy place' and replacing in 'upset place', to moving child from one happy place to another. Just make sure your child is prepared for the inevitable - that soon they would have to be doing something else rather than what they would rather do.
And once they have helped you out, let them know that he or she did a great job in lending a helping hand. Your children can therefore avoid tantrums while you avoid the dread feeling that comes with trying to control them.
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